Friday, April 9, 2010

A Decision. A Tattoo. A Contest.

Yes my lovely little ladies, I did it. I managed to make a fucking decision, and it didn't even kill me...yet.

I'ma stand in front of this here sign.

I called The Forks Motel yesterday to reserve a room.  The dude who I spoke with cracked me up.  I told him the dates I wanted to reserve, and he was all like "That's quite a ways away, we should have plenty of........whoa. What's going on at the end of September??  Something for Twilight??"   I replied "How'd ya guess??"  Apparently the entire motel is nearly full, with 73 rooms being reserved for Twitards.  I nearly shit my shorts. I'm so fucking glad I called when I did, or else I might have had to sleep in my mini-van in the parking lot.

I will sleep pay for a room in this motel.

73 rooms??  Yep.  73 motherfucking rooms!!  I knew this was going to be epic.  I wonder what the head count is up to?  Anyone know?  Anywhore, I bow down to all who encouraged me called me a pussy and told me to just shut up and go already.  Those are the kind of sweet motivating words that get  my ass in gear.  I'm going to have to do alot of facehumping in Forks, especially if Mr. Pantz does indeed decide to tag along.  So......that's one major decision down.  Let's move right along to the next shall we?

Tattoo.  I've wanted one as long as I can remember.  I am almost the only one left out of my RL friends that has yet to be inked.  I vowed I would get one before I turned 30. Yep.  Apparently my solemn vows to myself aren't worth dick.  Here I am now, 32 1/2  (yeah, I said half)  have yet to get my ass up off my shoulders and just fucking do it.  Aaaaaaaaaaand being the totally indecisive whoreface that I am, have never fixed myself on what to get or where to place it.  I am running out of  "safe zones" on my body.  Ya know, places that are not saggy or riddled with stretchmarks (thanks fucking kids!), that I feel would be accomodating  to some body art.  I believe I have narrowed it down.  So.  What to get?  I think I may have found a way to decide.

A Contest!!!


"Did you just say what I think you said??"

Yes. You read correct. I am holding a contest to choose what I get permanently etched in my flesh until it rots away and/or gets burned the fuck up.

Here's how this shit is going down:

I want you to give me your best idea(s) for my tattoo.  Think Twi. Think Rob. Think Fandom. Think E. Some of you bitches should know me pretty fucking well at his point.  I want something that will make me even prouder to belong to such a kickass community of twatwranglers!

I need you to email or comment me your ideas, inspirations, pictures (to illustrate examples), etc.
I will  narrow the entries down to a final few, depending on how many ideas are submitted.  After that, I will leave the the final decision entirely up to YOU.

You will vote on what you think is the most perfectest tattoo for me, and I will get it.
I'm not even close to kidding about this shit.

I know you think I must have some elepahant sized balls for doing this, which is true.  But I will still consider only serious entries.  I think we've all seen some fucked up twi-tatts this week and I will not go there.
I'm gonna leave this contest open for a while, but I want to have the chosen tatt on my skin before FOOOOORRRRRKKKSSSS!!!
I'll leave you time to ponder the enormity of what I'm asking.  Please contact me by emailing or commenting with any questions about any aspect of this contest.

I am serious about this.  I trust you guys more than some of my own family members.  Make me proud to sport some ink that will fuheveh and evah remind me of you and how much my life has been impacted by knowing you all!

Show me your goods!
Till next time,



    Imma have too much fun with this! Il email you kai?

  2. If you get a Twilight related tattoo I will kick your ass

  3. Holy shit...are you serious????? I have to think about this...

  4. You need to get something that is important to you and has meant something to you. something that connects you to the bigger picture. I love Twilight but come doesn't represent my existence! My tats are of a celtic cross and the symbol for the atom.

  5. @All ~ I am serious as a motherfucking heart attack. Although, that might not be the best simile considering both of my parents have died from sudden, massive coronary attacks. Hey, maybe I'll croak before you have a chance to get to me! Hehe. I told you I was a sick fucker.
    Yeah. I don't necessarily mean it has to be Twi. I'm more looking for the overall impression that Twilight has made on my life. Including you fucking hookers! I'm artsy(sorta) and appreciate the abstract. In fact, that would make it more personally meaningful to me. I'm good with a tatt that doesn't scream Twilight, but at the same time, embodies what has ultimately brought us all together.
    If someone sends me a pic of Stephanie Meyer I will kick thier ass into next week.
    Am I making sense?

  6. @Mox ~ I got ya. I think that it is a VERY personal thing. In fact I was talking to my oldest bestiest RL besty about this and she was like "No no no!"
    Buuuuuuuuttttt (i have a big butt k?), this IS personal to me. This experience has overwhelmed, empowered, and enlightened me. I am taking this very seriously. Trust. xoxo

  7. @CC ~ Damn. I fucking meant to address you in my last comment as well!! Gah. Fail.
    And I'm humbled to have you here, your opinions are always welcome. Don't be a stranger! :)

  8. @All ~ One more thing... let me remind you that YOU are the ones that are the ultimate deciders!! YAY! Submit something. You get to vote on this for kristkrispietreats. Like I said...I trust you. You won't hurt me.

  9. ok, I'm having a really hard time with this concept because I don't know you outside the Twilight blog world. Maybe you should list your likes and dislikes for us. What are some other things that define you or that you're passionate about?

  10. OK, here's my suggestion: ERIN. It's your name, but it's also MY name. (I've been drinking, fyi, so this is hiLARious if you're me.)

    Also, "FUCK". You love that word. So, while "FUCK ERIN" is probably not a tatt you want, unless you think everyone will just take it as a suggestion and not a self insult, Maybe "ERIN LOVES FUCK" would be good. No?

    I actually have nothing. Cheesecake?

  11. @mmMox ~ Very good query love. **queue cheesy ass soap opera music** I am many things...yet I am nothing....TTTHHHHHHBBBBBBTTTTT!!!
    I'm being silly.
    I am bound to music. I can't be where it's not. I am cynical and pessimistic, but I see the beauty in everyday life. I love my sense of humor, I try not to take life too seriously. I have a passion for the written word and am an avid reader...although, FF has essentially set up a mobile home in my brain. I love poetry...Shakespeare, Jon Dunne, Shel Silverstein, Dr. Seuss...I don't have a fave...
    I have a very morbid mind and have always been drawn to deviant lifestyles, but I am really very tenderhearted. Wow. I sound like a fucking walking contadiction!
    email me!

  12. whats your email address? I'm seriously fucking obsessed with this now

  13. @MB ~ LMMFAO!!! You got me good...damn.

  14. @MB - I know right!?! We need to have a serious discussion w/ E

  15. mmmmmk. I dont' know how to get in touch w/ Musing Bella or SmartEPants but I'm in Twitter Jail.. FUCKERS!

  16. mmMoxie - I sent you my email in both twit and comment form...

  17. I'm so 'cited about your tattoo.

    I think a tattoo is a very personal choice and you don't make decisions like this lightly. If somethign in your life has effected you as much as you say Twilight has you will never, ever regret it.

  18. Wow! Imma think about this and get back to you E. I'm still blown away by what I read by your mr pantz over at MB's site a lil earlier that my head is spinning.

    mr pantz please consider an advice segment on this blog. Your words are amazingly uplifting. You and smartE must be like 2 fucking peas fucking in a pod! Just start ending each phone call to her with "Laters, baby" and I think the tattoo choice might have to be a tribute to you!

  19. I don't believe it. You're asking the fandom to come up with the tat for you? Sweeet! I'm sorry, but I can't help ya. I have a hard enough time deciding for myself what to get - I know I want it to be a butterfly, but I've yet to actually go and get one, because I don't want some half assed shittery on me.

  20. Late to the party here...

    WOW, E! I don't know what to say. You really are a cliff-diving whore. I'm not sure how much I can contribute here, but if I think of something I'll email you.

  21. I’m with Mox on this one.

    I had three, two on my arm and one on my calf. I outgrew the two on my arm, and spent thousands of dollars having it removed.

    Just take your time, think about what you really want and where you want it.

    But... I’m glad your going to Forks!! It’s on biyatch!!

  22. You are an amazing spirit... you crack me up! Talk about cliff diving!

    This is like riding the motorcycle you shouldn't be riding, that your utterly hot GBF fixed up for you, to the cliff and when you see it just gunning the mother sending both you and the bike over!

    I'm gonna have to think of this. I like your idea because there is something about the fandom... an energy.. something... I'm gonna think on this one!

    Love the idea... wish I was as brave :)


  23. Yea something so permanent could possibly need deep thought and commitment. I guess you need to decide what you want to take to your grave or if you just want something frivolous and fun or lovely and meaningless
    In the end it'll all be good :-)
    I'll keep tuned in to see the results
    Happy hunting

  24. "I trust you guys more than some of my own family members."

    I resent that.

    Whatever you do dont do this:
    thats all i ask...

    MB's suggestion made me think of my favorite tattoo i ever saw. I went to a concert when i was 14/15 of this band called "So just out of Junior High" which is funny because their band named described not only the content of their lyrics but the ages of every single fan in the audience. In the middle of the show the lead singer mooned the audience and on his right buttcheeck was tatted the word "Fuck" and on the left was tatted "Yeah" in plane font. Never have i seen anything that has tickled my fancy more. ...bbuuuuuut im not seeing you going this direction E...

    You are much too thoughtful, artsy, introspective, and mature to be tatting fuck yeah on your hindquarters. I know how important your family is to you. I think it would be hilarious and relevant if you somehow incorperated Ro saying "Ugly Edward" into your tat because it would represent your twicraziness and your family in one.

    And don't be scared! There is so much about our bodies we have no control over (ie sagging and stretch marks) heres a chance for you to mark it up by your own design and say "Listen up body! Ima draw on you!"

  25. @Stoney ~ Thanks for getting me. :)

    @TT ~ Please think on it...seriously. We email alot, so I think you understand where I'm coming from. Oh, and Mr.Pantz will mos def make semi-regular appearances!! XD

    @JellyBabes ~ I love Butterflies!! How sweet. Trust me, I am going to work with the artist to make sure that it looks fuckawesome!

    @TMC ~ I better get at least one idea from you or I will come over there and snatch you baldheaded!! I kid... I'll only put my foot up your can keep your hair. ;o

    @HG ~ You make a very good point! However, I'm not an impulsive teenager, ya know? I have honestly given this alot of thought! I can't see myself regretting this, I just hope I get alot of submissions so I can see how well everyone knows me! Congrats on your nom btw! xoxo

    @Kelly ~ I can see you coming up with something inspire me daily! Muah!

    @Wendy ~ Welcome to my little piece of crazy!!! I'm glad you stopped by, and hope you don't get freaked out (see disclaimer)! I have had ample time to ponder this...I'm ready. :)

    @Tessa ~ I think you know which family members I was fucking referencing!! You are one of my RL best friends...and I am stoked that you are here. I love you. And I would rather slit my own fucking throat than get that tatt...fuck, I only saw the vid once an still can't get that shit out of my head. Watching people eat shit like ice cream is my hard limit.
    I hope you send me ideas, I know where you live.... xoxo

  26. 73 Rooms?! Wow-I thought maybe 20-30 were anyone sharing rooms?! I will sleep on the floor if I have to! **better than being drunk & not finding my hotel** Is anyone driving?

    E: Do you live in CA? I'm wondering if it's better to drive-I live in SoCal if anyone wants to drive up-that way we'd have a car-but is someone looking into renting vans or something?

    I'm a single parent-no child support-so my budget is everything!! That leaves more money for drinking & buying TwiShit..I do have priorities.

    Sorry-I'm twitarded-I saw that there was going to be a discussion board for Forks..but I can't find it :-( Somebody shove my ass in the right direction?

    I'm like you E..I'm also the only one of my friends without a Tat..I've wanted one but no idea what to get..I'll think on it..

  27. how feminine do you want to go? Do you want it to have color or black and gray? I've always liked cherry blossoms and there is lots of symbolism there too. Maybe have something regarding twilight worked into the branches but not too obvious

  28. @LwE ~ I know right!!?? Fuck, this is gonna be ginormous! I live in St.Paul, MN and I'm driving...but, I have booked a room w/2 queens. Hit me up if you get stuck!!! I won't let a fellow Twitard sleep in her car. xo

    @Mox ~ I fucking love how serious you are taking this! You are illustrating my point perfectly. I squeeze your cold, dead heart...

    I am not a girly girl, but I appreciate symbolism for sure. I would like a little color, but it needs to be significant. Meaningful. Striking.
    I have always been the girl who is edgy on the inside. It's time for me to be bold. I'll quote @Contessa ~ "Listen up body! Ima draw on you!"


  29. @TT maybe... i'm trying to tread lightly. i had my own blog once and this is not it. it's E's and i don't want to bum rush her shit. what kind of a douchebag would that make me? i can get longwinded sometimes. plus you might not always like what i have to say and i'm not trying to harsh anyone's buzz. at the very least, however, i can offer my honest male perspective which is completely different from your average "guy." of course if there was enough of an outcry, and a genuine need for the service, i'm sure something can be worked. if you are asking because you have something specific in mind you would like my perspective on, you can always email E and she can get it to me. seriously. not a problem at all. it's all love from here... :)

    @ Kelly i quite agree with you. i too think there is an energy...a something...within the fandom. but i would propose that it goes beyond the borders of fandom. it is the outpouring of one of the beautiful possibilities available in blogging communities, or as it has been called, the blogosphere. one of the main reasons i have found for this phenomena is because with e-communication you can be, if you choose to be so open, "pure being" with another human.

    for example, you're reading this now. but it's not just words on a web page. it's me. hi. *waving* it's really me. there's no filter, i'm just typing the words as they come into my head and you're getting a real time chunk of me. the fascinating thing to me is that my words, when coupled with this openness of being, become infused with a certain "life" if you will. they are no different to read them than if i were sitting in front of you now and speaking directly to you. because i am. speaking directly to YOU. right now. and even though i am talking to you right now, i am actually doing it in the past by the time you read this, but i am still here in word form asking you in the present. how cool is that?!

    sorry. i'm doing it aren't i? i could say a lot more, but i'll stop there. thanks for making me think!!!!

    (sorry for bum rushing your shit, honey. i'll make you cum 3 extra times tonight to make up for it. MWAH!!!!)

  30. @Mr.Pantz ~ I love you. That is all.

  31. @VampiresWeLove - the FFOORRKKSS discussion board is on the Twitarded Facebook page. SoTwired lives in southern California and is on twitter @SoTwired and has a blog maybe you could contact her to see what she is doing for FFOORRKKSS.

    @Mr. Pantz & E - I just turned to my hubby and said I don't think I have ever known a more matched couple than the two of you. I am so glad you enjoy hanging with us Mr. Pantz, it is an honor to have you as part of Twitardia.

    @E - I will email you my one simple idea I have for your tattoo :)

  32. PS Shoot I forgot to say ... I LOVE your banner. It is soooo you. It also reminds me of Talk Soup in some way and I just love that. Great job!

  33. @Dangrdafne ~ Thanks for your idea! I'm loving the suggestions so far...
    Yes, the Mr. and I are quite the pair, we been through alot in our 15yrs together. :)
    I'm so glad you like the banner! Stoney was the creator and Poptarrts did all the decorating and tweaking on my sidebars. I super puffyheart them so hard!!!

  34. thank you dangrdafne. it's been cool hanging out with all of you laides for a little bit. hopefully my presence here is not too much of an intrusion. i think the community that has been formed here is a beautiful thing and i am humbled to be a part no matter how small.

    FFFFOOOORRRKKKSSS!!!!!! update for the Pantz crew: our son's caretaker said she would be willing to stay for the whole weekend and take care of him. so that's one down. now we just need to find someone to handle our daughter and book plane tickets!

  35. @Smartz-you crazy mother humper, I fucking love you. I have 6 tattoos and they all mean something to me. One of them was designed by a friend. I went in to his shop and I said draw me something, whatever you want cos I trust you and you get me and I want something from your brain on me. So he did and I got a beautiful picture of a bulldog on my cunt.......LOLOLOLOLOL no I lie he drew a gorgeous celtic shield for me because he said I like to protect people I love far more than I protect myself from shit that life gives out and he saids I needed remonding to protect myself. Bless him. RIP Leeeeee boy I loved ya dude.... I will think and draw and contemplate. You're one in a billion Smarts. And Mr Pantz I fucking love ya too....but in a totally fraternal way. My brother is a twat so can I adopt you as my bro please?
    I also want ot adopt new parents so can the one's who wanna opt in please tell me lmao...I feel vulnerable now..what if no one wants a horrible bitch like me...gibbers in corner LOL

    I wish I was going to Forks but it ain't gonna happen, no lottery win on the would be one crazy motherfucking trip and I would so get arrested.....stuff happens to me, I attract arrestable offences like a fat kid gets liplocked to a sticky bun!
    Laters Smarts...MWAH x

  36. This tattoo idea. Well one part of me thinks it reeks worse than Amber's designer imposter perfume. If you get that reference I so looooooooove you! Only because I think it should be your choice and I'm worried about you ending up with something you don't cotton to.

    Then again I thought, there is no way any of these chickadees would ever vote for something for you that they probably wouldn't find almost as pretty as Rob himself and might even be willing to put on themselves.

    So Imma keep thinkin'. I might need a deadline.

    Looooove the new banner! (cool job, Stoney!)

  37. @Nibbles ~ I hereby declare you adopted!! You can never leave me now. I will pet you and love you and squeeze you and call you squishy and you shall be my squishy....sorry got a little finding nemo on your ass...
    Ahem. Moving on.
    I would be honored to have you draw a tatt idea for me. Truly. Please email me!
    Bulldog on your fucking kill me!!! xo

    @TT ~ I'm getting quite the mixed reaction to this contest! You are exactly right though...I'm confident that all you bitches will do me right. I'm not sure of a deadline yet...I need to give peeps time to ponder, but I defs want it done before FFFFOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRKKKKSSS.
    Get to thinking!!!
    Sorry...I didn't get the reference **hides face** but it's probably obvious, and I'm just an eeeejit. Laters, baby!

  38. Holy hell, E!! I have been wanting to get a tattoo on the inside of my wrist with the words "Be Safe" for a long time now but keep chickening out. I will have to give this some thought.

    @mmMoxie - I love how you went from don't do it to being on a mission. I hope you win the contest!!!

  39. @Lisa ~ Please...think on it. I contemplated wrist tatts a while ago. I will decide the body placement once the design is voted on. I am fucking beside myself with glee that you are getting involved with this! 8D

    @Mox ~ Like Lisa're on a mission now. ;)

  40. fffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccckkkkkkkkkkk!

    ...random flyby fuck... I knew you would understand... ;)


  41. @Raitz ~ I needed that. Thank you!


Don't be a pussy...say something!