Tuesday, April 6, 2010

To Foooorrrkkksss or Not to Foooorrrkkksss??? That is the question...

I have been going through a big fucking debate with myself  for a bit now. I have honestly pondered whether or not going to Forks was in my future. I have given more thought to this question than I did about the conception/birth of my second child. This is torturing me and I need help!!!

What's all the fuss about? It's just Forks dude.

The fuss is that now it's that point in time where I have to make a decision, and I have to make it right the fuck now! If I am seriously gonna do this biotch there will be in depth planning and preparation involved. The kind of shit that takes months to fucking get your shit together for. That means I need to hurry up and make up my mind...nowish.

I've gone through an evolution, since I first heard STY shout it out on Twitarded...I tried to find the link, but fail. If STY or JJ are reading, I love you and props for spawning this mass pilgrimage to the source of all that is Twi...if I ever meet you I  can't be held responsible for my behaviour would consider it an honor to be in your presence. **bows down**

My initial reaction to hearing about the Twitards actually fucking going to Forks was stage one of this evolution.

Oh hell to the muthafuckin' NO.

I was all like "Why the fuck would I do travel to the wettest place in the continental US in fucking October? Chrissakes, those bitches are crazy!"

Flash forward a few months: I get more involved in the blogdom/fandom/whateverthefuckdom, and am meeting some cool as fuck peeps. Like ALOT of women that are just so rad it's insane. I start having a fucking ball getting to know some seriously brilliant and hysterical women hookers. I start to think it might be pretty fuckawesome if I ever got the chance to meet them!
Thus was the beginning of stage 2...

Ok, maybe they're just Forks....but look how pretttyyyy they are....

Yeah, Forks started to look better and better. I found myself starting to imagine what everyone was going to do while they were there.... What kind of havoc would be wreaked? Who would get arrested? How would the locals handle a bunch of pervy twisted drunk twi-whores?

I have become so enamored with this crazy as fuck all twi-twat bloggy fandom community that I hung a noose around my neck decided to start my own blog. Yep. That was the clincher my little snatchy-poos.. the conception of stage 3.

I think I neeeeed to go to Fooooorrrrkkkksss.

So here I sit, a sudden and nagging need to try to figure out how the fuck I can possibly get to Forks. Luckily, my hubtardy is not only encouraging me to go but being nearly demanding about it! He actually said to me the other night, "I want you to go to Forks. I hear you talk about how awesome those bitches are all the time, so if you don't go, I will!"
The Fuck You Say.
There are a few fucking obstacles however. I don't fly, so the drive would be epically long, which means more time, money, etc. Plus, it's not a tempting thought to have to make the drive alone...not sure if there would be a way around that though.
We're moving this summer, and I have no fucking clue what my life is going to look like come September. This trip would undoubtedly be the adventure of my life so far, and that thought alone is very enticing. But if I'm gonna do this motherfucker I need to make a decision.

What are all you guys doing? Who's Forkin' it and why? Who's not and why?
Give me the deets, was it an easy decision, or did you agonize over it? 
If you're going, how are you getting there, and how has your SO/family reacted?

I need to go have a drink now...

Should I stay or should I go?
Till next time,


  1. Well, I'm having a drink for you btw. Just sayin'. Anyhoo...GO! FOOORRRKKKKSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't be a pussy.

  2. I am going to Forks, too. So fucking go! If I can go BY MYSELF on a plane, have VitaminR pick me up, and venture into some twi-Twinpeaks town, so can you.

  3. If you decide to go you should know that because I won't be there you won't have any fun, you'll be miserable the entire time and it'll be the biggest mistake of your life.

    JK! You should go! I can't wait to hear everyone's stories about running amuck in FFFOOORRRRKKKKSSS

  4. Well, you know I'm going. And no playlist for you if you don't go, just fyi. It was an easy decision for me - I love four hours from there, after all, by car. I read Twitarded and thought "that sounds like something," and then Mrs Fashion (my only RL Twitarded homie) suggested we go, and I made the motel reservation that day. But, again, we could drive there and back several times in one day (not that it would be terribly interesting to do so), so it wasn't hard. And THEN, I met all you bitches, and you rocked cocks so hard I knew I would go even without a RL friend in tow. So I'm there no matter what. I told TH that.

    Regarding TH and what he thinks, I think he thought I was losing my ever-loving mind at first, and then I asked him what he would do if they discovered Tatooine was an actual place and one could book passage on the Millenium Falcon to get there, and his eyes lit up like Christmas and he knew he would be on that shit like white on rice, so now he understands. You just have to speak their language (although your hubs is all about it already, so you're a step ahead on that). :)

    I soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo want you to be there, too. But I do actually understand about RL and the shitstorm it can bring, and moving (UGH) and you have little ones that I don't have to think about, so that's hard. I will love you no matter what, mmmkay? It's just me being selfish to want you to come... (that's what Edward said)

    Also, I will make you a playlist no matter what. I was just jokin' before. But I believe what I *actually* said (re your comment on my blog) was not that I had nothing better to do but that I had plenty of time (by which I meant "before you need it when you drive to FFFFFFOORRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKSSSSS"). You musical whore. ;) I would have more time to make playlists if I wasn't on here reading and commenting all the time, so stop being so damn interesting, everyone. SmartE needs some music!!

    Love you girl.

  5. Shit. I need to learn to edit. I LIVE four hours from there, although it's also true that I love four hours from there... since I love where I live... hahaha. Bedtime.


  6. missusPantz, like i said the first time you mentioned hearing the idea. i think it's an unbelievable opportunity and you should go. but only, as i said, if you're using the opportunity to bring this community of people together in the flesh more than as some sort of touristy mecca.

    not that you won't geek out over being in forks. but forks to me is simply background. like this whole twi(blog) that all of you belong to. twilight/rpatz are simply a social medium that has given birth to an amazing group of women worldwide to find each other and build community. making yourselves part of a very small percentage of earth residents that belong to a global community and know multiple people across the world.

    but those are MY reasons... i would have given anything for my global blogging community to have been able to get together just once so that all of us crazy people could have been together in one place to just enjoy each others company in real life. let me relate a story...

    i once went somewhere to meet a RL friend who just happened to be my introduction into the blogosphere. when i got to his place there was a woman there who also happened to comment on his blog frequently and she and i had conversed on a few occasions. before we were introduced, we locked eyes and although we had never laid eyes on one another before, each of us at that moment just "knew" who the other was. there was an imprint laid there already. that was an awesome moment for me. one of my life favorites.

    now imagine a powerful moment like that multiplied many times with women you know and love much more than that and tell me you don't want to be there? are you crazy girl?!

    from what i know of you fabulous ladies, i bet you can party like nobody's business. so, mrs.pantz, if you really can't summon the courage, i would wholeheartedly accept a few days of not having to go to work or deal with kids and drink my face off with some of the most rockin' women in the world.

    one way or the other, ONE of us is going to be there. and i'm sure they would prefer to meet you WAY more than me. i mean rob does nothing for me. so what would we have to talk about? :)

  7. @Jen and @HG ~ I know, I should just do it. You are so my girlz, cuz in RL I'm the one that always says "Suck it the Fuck Up Bitch!"
    Way to turn the tables whores. ;D

    @Mox ~ I know it will never fully satisfy if your cold dead heart isn't there. I seriously would love to meet your smartass in person.
    You are the tits babes.

    @MB ~ I can't believe you invoked the Holy Trilogy...well, yeah, I guess I can. At this point it's almost like a have a kismet vibe w/ you and others. Like maybe I would be altering the future existence if I don't go. Feel me?
    I lurvey your facial area and can't wait to get your listylist. xo

    @Mr.Pantz ~ I owe you a sexual favor for the Twitarded linky that I was too derrrrrr to locate. I am in awe of your unwavering support and tolerance of my um, huh....Twi/Rob/FF gobbled my life the fuck up thingy??? Yeah. That sound's about right. I just hope you see the full scope of reality if I go to Forks...it will be work for you too baby. ;P

  8. i know it'll be work for me. but it won't be. it'll be a great reason for me to take off work and get to spend some good time with the kids. i don't get to see them as much as you, you know... :)

    besides, if it means i get to help you achieve this once in a lifetime opportunity and bring you copious amounts of what can little be described as life-changing-joy, then how could i NOT want to do what i could to make sure it comes your way?

    not to mention sending the crazy as fuck whirlwind that is smartEpantz their way? i mean, how much joy will be brought your way, ladies, if you get to meet this wild woman in real life?

    E, i've been trying to open your mind to the possibility from day one. we can make this happen if you really want it to! Can't you hear all these ladies cheering you on?

    it's like a trust fall.

    just close your eyes and jump, E.

    we'll catch you.

  9. @Mr.Pantz ~ You blow my mind babe. I know you have been cheering me on, and I hump your face for that. I just want you to realize exactly what me going to FOOOOOOOORRRRRRRKKKSSSS would entail. Just sayin'.
    I am one lucky fucking sluuuuut to have you.
    Love you.

  10. that is a fully acceptable form of payment. face humping, i mean.


  11. @Mr.P ~ I'm on it...your face, that is. XO

  12. Wow, well, hello there Mr. Pantz. I cannot believe how supportive you are. Mind you, my hubs did tell me that he would want me go to Forks or anywhere else with women of the blogosphere, if we could afford it.

    So yeah, E, I'm not going, sniff, sniff, because I live half a world away, and to get there would cost me thousands of dollars. But you should. I don't see why would you be having doubts about this. Trust me, if you don't go, you will regret it for the rest of your life.
    Go, go, seize the opportunity, and the awesomeness that is Mr.Pantz.

  13. @smartE, your hubs is awesome.

    @mr. pantz, you're awesome.

    I'm entertained by the fact that you two were presumably in the same house when this little online exchange happened - TH and I do that, too.

    Now be a good little wifey and do as your husband tells you!!
    Or, as Jelena put it, "seize the opportunity and the awesomeness that is mr. pantz." LOL - good point, well made, Miss Jelly.

  14. Oh I think everyone is expecting you to "bring the E" to Forks.

  15. @ Mr. Pantz...will you marry me? OK, not really, but I am totes jealous of E!!!

    My hubby is...er...less than supportive (read: He hates/underestimates/is jealous)of my Twiddiction. Forks has not been mentioned (out loud) in my house, nor will it be. *sigh* Man, I'm gonna really miss out...but my marriage is sooooo worth it.

  16. Fuck! I forgot to say fuck somewhere in my post. Fuckity fuck fuck! *whew* I feel better.

  17. @JellyBabes ~ If I lived in Serbia I for sho wouldn't be going either, so I don't blame you. :( Regardless, it will be lacking your wonderfulness. ((HUGS)) I don't want to live with the sinking feeling of regret for the rest of my life. That's a very good motivator!

    @MB ~ LOL. Yep, hubs was in the living room and I was in the bedroom...since I got my laptop there has been alot of inter-marital communication on the internet! It's funsies!
    Carpe Diem...right.

    @TT ~ Are you making the pilgrimage??? I'm not sure where in the world you are!

    @Wease ~ There's plenty of Mr.Pantz to go around! LOL! Yeah, I got pretty lucky...
    And don't you ever fucking let that fucking happen ever the fuck again!!! :D

  18. Go to Forks...

    That is all.

    : )

  19. @ Smartz - When you say there is plenty of Mr. Pantz to go around...do you mean he has a huge cock? For your sake (and his too, I suppose) I sincerely fucking hope so.

    PS...fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. ;)

  20. Ha! I'm kinda a lurker on the twiblogs (i.e. Pretty much the only stuff I surf the net for now) but I would want to go to fooooorks!!! My bf is amazed at all the new colorful vocabulary I've picked up! He doesn't understand my obsession I guess but a binge drinking weekend with all you ladies sounds freaking awesome!!

  21. If there is any, any, ANY way you can swing it then you HAVE to go!!! It's one of those once in a lifetime opportunities - if you don't do it you will regret it for the rest of your damn life. I'm sure at least a few of pictures will surface, and you don't want to be thinking "I wish I had been arrested in FOOORRRKKKSSSSS".
    Come :)

  22. @Stoney ~ Well said. :)

    @Wease ~ I was hinting at that....glad you picked up on it. ;D oh, and fuckfuckityfuckeroooo!!!

    @laphipps ~ Welcome! **waves** I'm glad you are gracing us with your presence! I know what you mean about the expansion of your colorful vocab...I can now curse all of my friends into a state of shock. I fucking love it! Hope you stick around. :)

    @Muffin Top ~ The regret would be fucking heartwrenching for sure. That fact has definitely tipped the scales in favor of FOOOOOORRRRKKKKKKSSSS!!!!! Welcomes to you as well! I'm glad to have you around. xo

  23. OMFG YOU HAVE TO COME TO FORKS!! and fuck it - find a baby sitter or some doting relatives and bring Mr. Pantz. But please keep the face-humping private. Not that this isn't a perfectly cromulent way to show your appreciation for his awesomeness. Because it is. You're both awesome! If I thought I could round up some cool dudes I might coerce Mr. Snarky into attending. However, you would have to drive him since he also refuses to get on a plane (until they start letting people bring their own parachutes and he gets to personally screen every other person on board. uh, anyone have a private jet we can borrow for the week?).

    In all seriousness, this post made me all mushy and proud - it's awesome and encapsulates EVERYTHING that I hope Forks will be for all of us. Oh fuck I had better get planning...

    : )

    p.s. DO IT!!! see you there.


  24. STY, your idea intrigues me. i'm sure us twidows need just as much of a gathering as the twitards... we can sit around drinking really good beer and talking about how sick we are of seeing rob's face. :)

    awesome. hmmm. we'll probably need a couple of really nice flatscreen tv's and some video games. wheels are churning...

    would that make it any easier for some of you ladies to attend if your hubs could come too and have his own shit to do so he's not cramping your style?

  25. @STY ~ SOLD. I am fangirrrrling so hard all over you! Okays. Uh-that's-alllll-folks!
    **smiles and waves**
    I'm haulin' ass to FOOOOOOOOOORRRRRKKKSSSS!!!!

    @Mr.Pantz ~ Maybe we should think about a 'getaway'? Hmmmmmmm????
    Oh, fuck...these biatches would eat you alive...it would be fun to watch! :D

  26. @STY ~ Cromulent. Love you even more. xoxo

  27. As soon as I heard we were all invited to FFOORRKKSS I knew I had to go. Even though the Twitarded ladies live only about 1 or so away from me, I am going to travel across the country to meet them :) I don't want to miss out on the most amazing time that will be had I am sure. I know I would hate to read all about it and miss out on all the happenings. Also there is no better way to see a Twilight place than with out Twilight crazies I would think. It also alleviates Dangrmomma from having to take that trip with me.

    I originally was going to go by myself but I asked my best friend DangrDonna to go and she said yes. Then I told my cousin about it and she might go too. DangrDonna and I will be flying from Philly to Seattle (Wed. 9-30) and then driving to FFOORRKKSS. We return to Philly from Seattle on Monday 10-4.

    If I may ask, why don't you fly? Although I am recalling a story about a panic attack or something the last time you flew, please refresh my memory.

    Now I will go and read the other comments.

  28. Because of life circumstances being a little unsettled at the moment, I'm not 100% sure what it will be like come Sept/Oct. But I am planning on being in Forks if at all humanly possible. I don't have a friend to bring with me so I'm available to meet someone part way and drive the last 3 hours with them. Just sayin'...

  29. @Dangrdafne ~ Wow, JJ and STY live so close and you're traveling clear asross the continent to meet them!!?? That's awesome!
    Sadly, I don't fly because of a seriously traumatic experience...you can read about it here http://edbrella.blogspot.com/2010/03/friday-fun-five_24.html?zx=5cf009042181b096
    Now that I've made up my mind to go, I need to get crackin' on accomodations! I'm so excited to actually meet everyone...this is going to be epic! :D

    @TMC ~ I have no idea what my crazy chaotic life will look like in Sept either, but at least if I start planning now, it should make things smoother...I said SHOULD!!! I may take you up on your offer to drive the last leg of the trip together...I'll have to see what (or who) I can pull out of my sleeve between now and then! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! xo

  30. @E - I thought that was you I had read about at Edbrella. To get over my flying phobia I went to hypnotherapy and it cured it for me. Would that be something you would consider? I found it to be a huge help and I have used it in other fearful situations. Just thought I would share :)

  31. @Dangrdafne ~ Awwwww, thanks for the encouragement! Believe me when I say you are not the first person to suggest hypnosis! I am not entirely opposed to the idea, but I have a feeling that I would need some serious medication that would knock my ass out for the duration of the flight! I hear they don't let you on a plane that way... :O
    You are such a sweetie!

  32. @E - If hypnotherapy works, you wouldn't need medication :)

  33. You just made me SO much more excited for FFFFFOOOOORRRRRKKKKKSSSSSS!!!!!

    I'm in Washington state already. I live near Portland, OR. So - I'm driving on tiny little roads that twist and wind like crazy.

    Hubs. He's coming too! He's so rad that he can't wait to sit back and laugh at us all. And I told him the guy/girl ratio looked to be in his favor. LOL!!!

    I honestly initially went, "We HAVE to go!" I immediately knew I needed to meet these chicks who are SO like me in the best way - sense of fucking humor!

    Hmm... I hope I can swear on here, cuz I've been on the computer all day doing research on ff and can't remember where I am... Just jokin E!!!

    My fucking little cuntbiscuit! Mwah!


    You MUST fucking come to FFFOOORRRKKKSSS!!! I will hunt you down and beat you like a redheaded stepchild if you don't! Don't tempt me. I'm vicious!

  35. I'm comment happy today! Anyway - after reading Mr. Pantz's comments, I think it would be criminal if you BOTH didn't FLY out (heavily medicated, of course)and meet me and Mr. SV - our guys would get along famously from the sound of it!!! NO SHIT! Fly to Portland and drive with US! We could organize a pilgrimige from Portland to FFFFFFFOOOOOOORRRRKKKSSSSSSS!!!!

    It's about a four hour drive and we could caravan with MusingBella! We should make this happen.

    Okay - anyone going to Forks passing through or flying into Portland should email me and we could meet up for the drive. I'm about 12 years old right now, ladies! I'm seriously giddy about this whole trip.

    Our anniversary is Sept. 13th, so Forks is how we're celebrating! I have the best hubs EVER!!!

  36. @StarlitViolets - Your anniversary is Bella's birthday and my sister's birthday. Very cool. I can't wait to see you in FFOORRKKSS. Now I kind of wish I were flying to Portland.

  37. @Dangrdafne ~ Re: hypnotherapy. It's definitely food for thought! I'm open to anything that would actually WORK! I hate being ruled by my fear. :)

    I'am already so fucking excited! I am lookin into the possibility of Mr. Pantz taggin' along, and it would be bitchin if there was another dude for him to comiserate with. Time will tell how this is all gonna shake out!

    P.S. I can't believe you pulled out "I will beat you like a redheaded stepchild" Baaaahahahaaaa!!! I haven't heard that in fuhevah...good one!


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