Monday, April 19, 2010

I make fun of myself in honor of Velociraptor Awareness Day.

That could have been wicked awesome.

Here's some music to scroll by. This song encapsulates the point of this post so you better fucking listen to it!!!

Now, don't be a little bitch  get all huffy about me roasting our Beloved Saga. I'm pretty confident that if you're reading this, you will understand exactly where I'm coming from. If you don't, I'm really inclined to say "What the fuck are you doing here?" but instead I'll say nothing, because I'm not going to waste my time explaining what a fucking joke is.

Uh ohhhhhs....

Hello hookahs! I've missed you all this week. I have been very limited in the time I can spend immersing myself in the loveliness of my blogroll, and my dear snatchfaces that I have become so attached to in the past few months. I have decided that with all the stresses and general clusterfucky-ness of RL these days, I need to laugh. At myself. Alot.

Yes I do.

I have been taking life way too fucking seriously these days, and have lost sight of my inner need to make a joke out of just about everything. I can't function if there is no humor in my life, so I've decided that in honor of Velociraptor Awareness Day I need to remind myself just who the fuck I really am!!! I need to poke Edward's sparklepeen in me some serious fun at myself.

At least they suck up human blood.

So let's just take moment to step the fuck back, and laugh at ourselves shall we? Life is too goddamn short to walk around stressed out over every little thing that gets barfed up on us everyday.

I hear having herpes sucks.

Yep. I'm a total pussy lover.

These chicks know gheyyy when they see it.

I'll part with some encouraging words. No matter what life suckerpunches you with, don't forget who you really are. That is one of life's greatest tragedies. We lose sight of ourselves in the hustle and bustle of the daily fucking grind. Let's not let life kill us.

I wanna be this fucking bug.

Let's grab life by the short and curlies!
We say who, We say when, We say how much...

** I'm fully aware that Velociraptor Awareness Day is technically over. I don't really give a flying fuck.**

At least I don't have herpes.


  1. E!!!!!! Oh shit...I laughed my way through this whole post. You gotta laugh, or you'll cry. All of those captions are hilarious....

  2. LMAO! Damn you E...I have all of those saved on my desk top for a post. I might still have to do it...but trust me, I'm not copying you. Oh shit, who am I took the wind from right fucking underneath my sails. Oh was fucking funny!

  3. Amen, sister!!! And the Nina Simone version of that song totally kicks Michael Buble's version's ass. Just sayin'.

    P.S.: The Happy Bug makes me smile and creeps me out at the same time. LOL!

  4. @Twired---liar. You just saved them now.

  5. Hahaha, those are great photos.
    Yes, at least you don't have herpes. I wonder about people who take the time to come up with this shit, because even though it's hilarious, it's pathetic too. Not only are they haters, but they're missing out on so much. And, to think I was one of them this time last year... shudder.

    Mwah. And, get that button of mine sorted, dammit! :p

  6. What a fitting post for such a fitting weekend. This has been an overwhelming and spectacular new life breathed into us. I am glad that you are as ready as me to grab it for all it's worth and just run with it. Who knows where it's going to end, but something about it just feels right.

    Fucking hilarious! Thank you for this. Truly. :)

    You are awesome, E.

  7. @Mrs.P ~ Glad I made you laugh! I knew you would understand... xoxo

    @Jen ~ Oooops! I had a dream today while I was napping (recovering from an all night bachelorette bash) and I just went on auto-pilot for this post! Please still do your post. I love reading what you have to say. ;)

    @Lisa ~ I am a ha-uge Nina Simone fan! I have limited knowledge of Michael Buble, but I kinda see him as sorta Clay Aiken-ish...who I don't really dig at all. I may get stabbed now. Oh well. Heehee. Loves you!!!

    @JellyBabes ~ I love your face. Mr.Pantz grabbed your button and placed it well. Satisfied? ;) xoxo

    @Love ~ Thank you.

  8. E - such a good post. I love laughing at us because honestly we are a bunch of women spending our days ignoring our families and glueing ourselves to computers to talk about vampires and teenage heartthrobs. If it isn't good for a nice laugh and an uplift then what the hell is it for?
    I love the pic about the idiots ;)
    btw I was wondering now that you have your own blog if you wanted to join the twi-mobile thing and get a badge? Let me know if you need help setting up and it'll take me ten minutes.

  9. @TC ~ I'm glad you understand that it's necessary to pick on ourselves every once in a while! Muah!
    I would love to go mobile, but my phone doesn't hsve the capability to do so.
    You can walk me through the setup of twi-mobilizing my blog (fucking love that name btw) but I won't be able to access it. :(

  10. Love it E, great send ups, I have a few of those saved but thought I'd get my ass whacked if I use them I poke fun at the Beloved as it is even though I want to boff his brains out. Not gonna be about much for a few days, shit to do, stuff to get done at hospital before I go in, just realised yesterday its a week on thursday I go in, whoah, came around quick didn't it. Catch you later, I'm a wee bit pissed off!

  11. Oh I wanna be that happy bug too! Knowing my luck some fucker would swat me a totally ruin my happy shit though


  12. I hear ya Nina Simone and I'll raise you a James Brown "I Feel Good" after a hit of E because I'll be laughing over that Bella like herpes joke all damn day! Thanks!

    PrettyWoman reference, nice.
    Laugh and Take care of you!

  13. LOVE the Pretty Woman reference. Take care of you.

    This was a hilarious post. "Paper. You wasted it." LMAO

    RE the twimobile thing, my phone doesn't do mobile either, but if you set it up I guess all the cool chicks with smrtphones can read up on your ass while they're on the go and shit. TC is great at helping with that stuff.

    Keep laughing - it's all we can do sometimes!!

  14. E - Gawd, I love you! No matter what RL is doing to us at the moment we can laugh. You're such a gem. I don't know what else to say. Speechless...and that's tough to do to me.

    Now, go give your fucking Monday hell!

  15. If we can't laugh at ourselves, what's the point? Great post. Perfect for a Monday morning read at the office :)

  16. I agree with Dang! Thanks for the laugh hun. And btw love the song choice and your fuckhawt banner!


  17. Bahahaha! Why am I just finding the wonderment that is E!? Fair warning, I'll be stalking your blog on the regular now...

  18. @Nibbles ~ I gotta admit I was a touch nervous when I thought about raking twi over the coals...then I remembered who I was talking to!!

    @Mary ~ We all get swatted from time to time, even if we're happy fuckers!

    @TT ~ You had to invoke the Godfather of soul. That's a good one!

    @MB ~ I could quote the whole movie for ya if ya likey? Teehee. Glad you laughed!

    @Coffee ~ **blushes** I think YOU'RE a gem...truly. ((HUGS))

    @DD ~ Exactly my point love. We NEED to laugh at ourselves. I do anyway...and trust me when I say I give myself plenty of material!

    @TM ~ Doesn't my banner rock cock!!?? Stoney is the bizness!!

    @Smutty ~ Welcome! **bows down** Please...stalk away! Glad to have ya! :D

  19. @SmuttierThanYou- wonderment yes. good word. that is exactly the effect had on oneself when taking E.

    @E you're awesome. i'm very glad there are other people out there who can see how awesome you are, and are unafraid to express it.

  20. My friend just posted this on his Facebook page: "If you can't laugh at yourself, you might be missing the joke of the century"--Dame Edna

  21. Fab post! I have to laugh at myself, it's more fun than just watching everyone else laughing at me ;o)

  22. Ahhhh self deprication at it's finest. Exactly my cup of tea...and I don't drink fucking tea.

    I jumbucking LOVED it.

  23. I had just typed the name Stoney into the FFF and an email appeared saying she had commented on E. Tis a mysterious world indeed!

    W V- Unberk- you can't credit it can you!

  24. @Stan ~ My Mom used to say "They're not laughing AT you...they're laughing NEAR you." Hehe.

    @Stoney ~ I jumbucking love you! ;)

    @Nibbles ~ Whaaa??? I'm a touch creeped out by the blogosphere right now! Lol!


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