Thursday, April 1, 2010

Spring Break can go suck a dick



Yeah, you heard correct. I am not a fan of Spring Break, and before I get lynched I'll tell you just the fuck why.

Spring Break has never been particularly break-y for me, even before I had "adult responsibilities". Growing up, I remember my friends going off to fun, touristy locations and leaving my sorry ass behind. Nevermind that I didn't have to go to school, I wasn't having as much fun as the people I knew that got to go on these things called vay-kay-shuns ( um, still not sure what the fuck that means ), while I was stuck with my poor white trash fambly. I was forced to just "go outside and play" with myself, cuz my besties were off galavanting in some tropical location far far away.



Fucking Assholes.




Um, I think something's missing. Oh right....ME!!!!!



 


See how much fucking fun she's having???


So now I'm all growed up and shit, and Spring Break doesn't really mean anything to me except more work. Kids home from school, Mr. Pantz working about 60 hr weeks, no real break in sight. It also means that all my lovely obnoxious as fuck neighbors crawl out from under their rocks, and let thier devil spawn run amok all hours of the day and night. Did I happen to mention that I live in the inner city??? Well I do, and there are some pretty colorful characters in my hood. It can actually be pretty entertaining if you don't have small children who are trying to sleep through the ruckus. If only I had some sort of distraction or consolation.....






"Don't you worry baby...I'll take you anywhere you wanna go."




Ahhhhhhhh, that's better....


Sooooo....what did you byatches do for Spring Break?? Did you put your party hat on, or did it suck monkey twat?? Tell me so I can live vicariously through you!

Till next time....XOXOXO - E
















24 comments:

  1. yes!!!! first comment...

    hilarious. especially the girl with fun on her leg. it sounds so nasty when you say it like that... i like it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thankfully, here in the UK we dont get "spring break".
    We get Easter holidays, summer holidays, little time off at Halloween and ofcourse Xmas.

    Easter holidays consists of maybe a week off. Not alot of time, and though the kids are annoying as fuck, I dont see much of them.

    Poptarrts = Day Sleeper. :D

    Great Post! Love you xxx

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wait you hubby is making comments on your blog? That is fuckin' brilliant! I just repeat the shit mine says.

    Hey Mr. AnTwi-Pattz goes to this "Twilighty/My Wife would leave me for Rob" Husbands support group monthly and he says he'll save your hubby a seat at the next one. Apparently beer is served to dull the pain.

    Spring Break meant that everywhere I went this week was that much more crowded with everyone's kids!

    Just think sEp next year you CAN go away on Spring Break because you can take your laptop with you and still blog!

    Sweet Mafiaward dreams! -TT

    ReplyDelete
  4. Spring break sucks balls. Today we celebrated with an embarassing fight in the CVS parking lot between my two kids. I decided to break it up by launching my cart at them, and they broke it up in time for the cart to hit my own car. So yeah...no fun here either.

    W/V---comer. You can't make that shit up

    ReplyDelete
  5. @Mr. Pantz ~ Welcome lover. I'm glad you are as perverted as I am. ;)

    @Poptarrts ~ I so envy you not having to have society at large stuffed in your face all day (er, night?). Everytime I have to leave my house before 7am (which is rare), I see all this traffic and shit and I'm always dumbfounded that so many people are up so fucking early. I think I would do well to work a nightshift!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hey girl! So I love when you say FUCK. So, keep sayin' it. I couldn't help but laugh when you talked about living in the inner city. I live in a, shall we say..."eclectic neighborhood." Don't get me wrong...I have grown to love it. It's like the ghetto meets Woodstock, meets Laguna Hills, meets Compton...Yup that pretty much sums it up.

    I didn't have a Spring break really...I don't have kids, and I work in the hotel business...I did take 4 days off and went to Palm Springs, which was fun.

    Great post..keep it up!

    xo

    ReplyDelete
  7. @TT ~ Heyyyyy!!! Mr. Pantz is bomb yo! I would love to have a break next year....yeah...just me and my new laptop... **eyes gloss over ~ jaw slacks**

    @Mrs. P ~ Glad we're on the same page. Fight in a CVS lot!!?? Baaaahhhaaaa!!! See?? I can laugh cuz It wasn't me, but if I was there I'm pretty sure I would've just got in the car and peeled out out that motherfucker. Just to shut them the fuck up, ya know? I'd come back for them after I went to the closest bar and had a double shot of whisky. :o)

    ReplyDelete
  8. @Jen I don't think I can't say fuck...so I'm glad you like it! Please feel free to let your language loose here. I've said before, there's no such fucking thing as tmi for me... :)
    My hood is straight ghetto...but you're right, it has grown on me in the last 12 yrs, and I'll prolly miss it when we move! xo

    ReplyDelete
  9. Mr. Pantz... LMAO!

    I love spring break... I work at a university and it means the kids get the fuck out of there, I can park wherever the fuck I want, and I don't have to wait in line to get my fucking coffee.

    (there's something about your blog that makes me feel the need to fucking say fuck a lot... it's quite liberating, I mean fucking liberating... thanks!!)

    ReplyDelete
  10. I fucking hate Spring Break. Every fucking time I turn around, my kids are there. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my kids dearly. But I need my alone time too. My lunch break is my bloggy time and when the kids are here trying to read over my fucking shoulder it seriously pisses me off. (And trust me, those little fuckers can read fast!) Our spring break was the middle of last month, so I'm over it by now...the house is still a wreak though.

    ReplyDelete
  11. @Raitz~ Ok, you're allowed to love spring break cuz that's probably the best week of your year!
    And you can say fuck as many fucking times as you fucking want to here!! In fact, you could leave a comment that consisted only of one long FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKK
    and I would know exactly what you meant. :D

    @Wease~ You can't trust those assholes to do anything except break your shit and tear up your house. Fuckers. xx

    ReplyDelete
  12. @ SmartE - I know, right? And the hubster isn't much better.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm with you on this. Everyone else had fun but me - and now all i do every spring break (for the last 3 years) is move.... while taking no break from my work week.


    _ Tessa

    ReplyDelete
  14. LMFAO @ "forced to just "go outside and play" with myself" <-- my mind is thoroughly ensconced in the gutter.

    I hated Spring Break as a kid, too - we never went anywhere and there was nothing to do but watch Price is Right, play Nintendo, and eat Cheez-Its washed down with Cherry 7-Up. Actually, now that sounds great. But I always wanted to go places.

    I took a Spring Break with the hubs last week, as you know, and took Mrs P to some Twi-locations, and went up North to some wineries, and other than that I laid around and slept a lot. Then I went back to work where everything had fallen apart in my absence and this week they cut our fucking healthcare. So I'll take Spring Break again, please.

    Hey, and happy last-day-of-Spring-Break today to you!

    ReplyDelete
  15. @MB~ Hey lady! I saw your near death experience with Mrs. P...scary shit!!!
    They cut your motherfucking healthcare!!???
    That is assssssssssyyyyyy. :(
    Sorry to hear that, I hope you guys have a backup.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Nope. Sucks to be us. It *is* assssssssssssssyyyyyyyy. Esp. cuz they only cut some people's healthcare and it doesn't make sense, and I'm not going to rant any longer in your comments. *fumes* More wine, please.

    ReplyDelete
  17. @MB~ you can always email me sweetie.
    :(

    ReplyDelete
  18. I didn't even realize it was spring break...that's how cool I am.

    My kiddo is not in school yet..next year EEK!...so the only way I notice is if I realize that I don't get stuck behind busses on my way to work.

    I never have been much into Spring Break shennanigans. I'm all about Mardi Gras. It's my favorite (favourite) time of year. THAT is where all of my yearly drunken debauchery concentration goes. And it's totally worth it.

    ReplyDelete
  19. No fun spring break trips for me growing up. Of course, it wasn't the big deal that it is now when I was growing up.

    And as the oldest blogger here, I miss Spring Break spent with my kids :( They grew up way too fast. Not only did I love having my kids home, I let them have friends over. Everyone wanted to hang out here, and I loved it. When they got older and I went back to work full time, I missed the long breaks spent with them. Wah!

    ReplyDelete
  20. @Stone~ I've never done Mardi Gras but I've stalked your FB pics, and it looks like hella fun!

    @Lisa~ Awwwwww, you just gave me some perspective lady! There will come a time when I just might miss the chaos of my life. I suppose I shouldn't take it for granted... :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. I feel ya Pantz..I played with myself outside alot as a kid too. We took vacations, but I don't think it was ever on Spring Break (which I think we just called Easter Vacation) They didn't start calling it Spring Break until all the hoors started going to Palm Springs & Florida and fucking everyone..then it became newsworthy & in need of a new sexy name.

    Vacations with my parents weren't exactly fun-filled, so I guess I was never anxious to really go anywhere. My parents are less emotional & expressive than Bella..if you can picture that!

    Fuck is definitely not a fucking word were were allowed (even now) to say in my mother's presence..so now I think I use it as often as possible..Noun/Verb/Adjective/Fucking proposition..whatev

    Mrs P..OMG..fucking hysterical about your kids @ CVS. I'm pretty sure our moms would've just punched both of us in the fucking head & been done with it..but I think that falls under "child abuse" these days..too bad..nothing a good ass-whoopin in public won't fix!!

    As a single parent, I'm not home for Spring Break-never have been-so my kids are fendin for themselves..they don't really fight amongst themselves anyway..luckily I have enought gadgets/systems in this fucking house for them to all be in separate rooms *don't think I didn't make a very strategic blueprint on where to put the Xbox/Playstation/Nintendo etc* they each have their own computer..so there are minimal fights. The biggest thing is my 14 yr old cussing on the Xbox cuz all the other players are Newbs or Pussies..sigh :-(
    I would love to go on vacay wit the chillins..but it's not in the budget. I actually get along with & have fun with my kids..probably cuz I'm right there on the same maturity level LOL

    ReplyDelete
  22. Goddamn..sorry..I talk too fucking much!!!

    ReplyDelete
  23. I was going to say I never did anything for Spring Break but I guess I just did BUT not in actual relation to Spring Break, it just happened to coincide. In college, I worked over every break so I definitely missed out on that time but since I didn't drink, I don't think I missed out on too much actually :)

    @Mrs. P - I didn't want to laugh but I had too. Hope the car is ok :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. @VWL~ Welcomes! Please say fuck as much as you like, and don't EVER worry about talking too fucking much! Have you seen what I've done to some blogs??? I have no verbal filter and I don't expect anyone else to either...at least when you're here. It's a safe place. **giggle**

    @Dangrdafne~ Hey!!! How was your trip?? I'm assuming I can read all about it in an upcoming post! I'm so glad you're here. xoxo

    ReplyDelete

Don't be a pussy...say something!