How the Fuck did YOU get HERE???

Hai my lovely little snatchy-poos! This past week or so has been one hell of a fucking ride, and I'm exhausted. Buying a house is a mind-fuck, and not the fun kind. My creative juices are all dried up. I have nothing of a revelatory or epiphanous nature to offer at this point in my life.

So I thought this would be a great fucking opportunity for us to have a little 'circle time'. Ya know...grab a carpet tile and gather round and have a little sharing time. Nothing too gooey or complicated. I just wanna know how the fuck you ended up HERE on my bloggy, surrounded by so much awesomesauce?

"Hmmmmm. How the fuck did I get here?"

I won't bore you with all the gory deets...yet. Suffice it to fucking say, my friend (the pusher) loaned me all 4 books and the movie after months of me saying "Yeah, I'll totally get around to that Twilight shit...someday". Yeah. My life got motherfucking upended that day. True story. A week after I got the books I was like an addict looking for a fucking fix. Enter 'Midnight Sun'. Enter FF. Enter Twitarded.

"Oooooooohhhh, that sounds interesting!"

Shhhhhh. I'll get to you in a minute.

Yeah, Twitarded was the crux of my complete undoing. *Points at JJ and STY*
They are completely to blame for me getting sucked in to the bowels meadow that is the epicenter of my Twi-Life now. Well, them and someone else. Yeah. I admit that before I read the books, and saw the movie I used to actually THROW AWAY mags with His face on it, or in it, and would never look back. Sad, I know. I know now what a total fucking unobservant stooge I was.

BANG!  I'm died now. kthnxbai.

JJ and Sty (and the Precious) were my Gateway drug into the Twi-blogosphere (i know some of you are touchy about what you call yourself, so feel free to insert any title that makes you feel fucking warm and fuzzy) and now I'm hopelessly addicted.

I cannot accurately plot my exact journey because it has been a wild ride and I honestly can't remember how I got where. I do know that after about a month of stalking Twitarded, I started commenting (under various names) and followed their blogroll.  Enter TwiBite. What can I say? I love me some Mrs. P. I will lick her bootheels in Foooorrrrrrkkkkkssss.

Once I started commenting, it was a tornado of Twi...I cannot remember the order in which I discovered who, but I was soon entranced by Robmusement who supplies my daily dose of  Robgoodness (Rob bless you J) and I heart her. I got grabbed by 17 Forever because Lisa is just such a fucking sweetheart. Even though she's all Robsteny...I can overlook that. ;P

In my mind, he drops her ass on the ground after this shot.

I got ensconced in the wonderment that is Twi-sted Edbrella and the lovelies that are responsible for that excercise in fuckery happy goodness! Hell, Nibbles has been officially (not ceremonially...yet) adopted into the Pantz clan! Stan and Mary are held between my cleavage...if ya want 'em, come and get 'em.

Around that time I found my Cheeto. Yes. Magnetic forces drew me to Poptarrts, who's contest I entered and we had some serious laughs! Of course right after that, I met Poptarrts wifey fer lifey, my Dorito Stoney, and now I'm hopelessly and irrevocably in love with both of those gheyt piratehookers ladies.  ~sigh~

Not sure how I got to Confessions of a Twiholic, but I'm glad I did. Jelena is a fierce wit with a filthy fucking mouth, and a way with words. Her posts always make me get all thoughtful and junk. I wanna squeeze her boobies around the neck till her eyes pop out! In a loving and tender way.


It was a new bb of mine that actually helped push me over the cliff from stalking lurking to blogging. The lovely Tongue Twied did a post that made me think I really could have a blog of mine own!

I love me some Cheaper than therapy cuz she's my girrrrrrrlll and I can't afford to see a licensed head shrinker. Plus, she's cuter than a motherfucking bug's ear. Trust.

To my sluuuutttt biscuit partner in crime Too Much Coffee: Big loves. You get your ass back here! Like nowish....I'll wait...*taps foot*

Another of my sweethearts is Twilight Cupcake at Twilight, Travel, and Treats. She is a globe-trotting-doctory-baker that can trick your blog out!!! Mobilize me baybay! She's also a filthy, filthy whore...which means I love her face even more. Check out her latest smokin' hot post.  Hey, I'm in Minnesoootah. I love me some Hockey.

My recent guilty pleasures include Twilight Mommy, head on over and check out the DSB...they like it durrrrrttttttyyyy! Twilight SagaPalooza has the best fucking Drunk Mad Libs ever on Friday nights! Don't be a taint...check that shit out!

I always look forward to Kelly at My discomRobulation because she is an inspiration and a breath of positivity.

Jen from Twired always makes me giggle...even though she's Robsten...again, I'll overlook and distract myself with something pretty. *walks away whistling*

Helllllllooooooo Prettttaahhhh.

Times like this, I'm grateful for my fucking ADD. And I'm loving the shit out of my newest blog find Tigerlilly's Tirade! She is tha biznezz. Get your sorry asses over to her blog and play Fact or Crap. Do it!

I would be remiss if I left out the amazing Dangrdafne! She is ever constant, ever loyal, ever true. Beautiful.

Man, if I forgot anyone, please take me out back and fucking flog me...please? I swear, I'm drunk (shocker) and I didn't mean to forget you.

Aaaaaaaannnnd that brings me to my fucking point! How the fuck did YOU get HERE???

You don't have to get into the sordid, hairy details and shit. I'm just curious. Waaayyyy curious, how you ended up here with me. So, spill.

You all have my heart.
Don't fuck with it.
xoxo
E