Friday, May 7, 2010

Life could be a dream sweetheart...a Rob dream.

**Bananahammock Update!!!**

IT happened. Finally!!! And by 'IT' I mean I had a dream. And by 'dream' I of course mean a Rob dream. An actual dream dream. Not just a tiny little snippet of a dream where nothing even remotely smexified happens.

"It's about time...I was starting to think you didn't really love me."

As is customary in Twitardia, I promptly emailed the slutty lovely Mrs. P to utilize her mad dream analysis skillz. She (as usual) did not disappoint, and even pointed out that I may, in fact, be psychic.
Here's how thangs went down...I'm in blue, Mrs. P is (as always) in red.

This one is a real dream...not just a little snippet. I took a nap today because I have been in the throes of some ferocious stomach bug (or maybe food poisoning) all day. I have been in the bathroom or in bed all day and am weak and dizzy (more so than usual lol). Maybe my illness produced this dream? Dunno.

So I'm being led by a limo driver to a car that's waiting for me. A limo of course. I'm blindfolded and told not to ask questions about where I'm being taken. It seemed to be a semi-longish drive because I had time to work up anxiety and run through possible destinations. When the car stops, I'm unblindfolded and led to a huge white house in the middle of a forest. I walk inside and see a few people I know (I don't know who they were, I just knew them), and several members of the Twilight cast. It was clear that this was a "safe house" of sorts for the actors and friends to go to that was super secret and secluded.

Everything in the house was white. Walls, tiles, carpet, furniture etc. I'm exploring my way around the house and I run into Kristen. She is in all black with heavy eyemakeup on. She seems nice and we talk for a minute and she offers to show me to my room. I follow her to a large bedroom with a wall of windows and a huge bed decked with bright white linens. Kristen tells me not to touch the condoms on the floor...and I look down and see 3 used condoms on the floor by the bed. She said they were from her and Rob when they slept in that room. I remember feeling suddenly nervous and I said "Rob's here too?" She nodded, and said I should stay out of his way because he didn't like to be bothered. She tells me to unpack and meet her in the bathroom.

Kristen and I are sitting on the floor of a ginormous white bathroom and we are talking. I remember thinking how cool she was being towards me even though I have never really been nice to her (I'm pretty blatant about my non-sten position) and she asks if I wanna get high (smoke some weed) and I do but neither one of us has any.

Next thing I know I'm walking into a t.v. room, sitting area and across the room I see Rob and Kristen sitting on a big overstuffed white couch watching something on t.v.

I turn to walk away and leave them alone, when Rob says to me "Join me", well of course I turn the fuck back around and start making my way across the room. I was intending to sit on the floor in front of the couch, but Rob makes eye contact with me and pats the seat next to him. The seat between him and Kristen. There isn't really space for my ass, so I have to kinda wedge my way in between them and Rob puts his arm around me. I'm shocked and Kristen is pissed. I look at Rob and ask "Is this ok?" motioning towards K's angry self. He just nods and rolls his eyes. I turn to look at K, and she is walking away...

I whisper to Rob, "I thought you guys were together?"

He whispers back "We were, but I'm done with her. She still gets jealous."

I ask about the condoms on the floor in my room.

He says they're really old, but she won't let anyone clean them up.

Then he says he wants us to head upstairs to his room, but he has to take care of some business first. I'm like "Really? You want me to go with you?" He says "Don't you like me?" I say "Yes...alot."

He explains that he's waiting for a phone call from a detective that has been tracking a rabid fan that is stalking him. The detective is going to let him know any new info.

Rob says that after he's off the phone, I shoud meet him in his room. I agree. (duh) The phone rings and I go to answer it, noticing that the name on the caller ID is my husband's name. I hand the phone to Rob and he walks away talking to whoever is on the line.

I start to make my way upstairs and run into Kristen sitting against the wall of the second floor landing, She is obviously upset and I don't know what to say to her. I start to walk past her and she says "I knew this would happen once he saw you." I get defensive and start saying things like I'm sorry, I didn't know this would happen, I don't mean to hurt you...etc.

She says something but I can't make it out...and then she stands up and walks into a room and shuts the door behind her. All of a sudden I feel horrible. Like, crushed.

I start to walk to Rob's room. I'm thinking about how I can tell him that I can't be with I feel bad for K. That feeling is suddenly gone as I walk into his room and see him stretched out on his back in the middle of a spacious white bed. I remember thinking how absolutely beautiful he is, even though all he's wearing is a wife beater and a pair of pastel striped bikini briefs. I think I laughed at him because he sits up and grabs me and pulls me down on the bed with him, and we start laughing and caressing each other. He was smiling at me so big and I remember this intense feeling of warmth and giddiness. I kept asking "Is this really happening? Are you sure you want me?" I don't think he said anything, we just layed there, him on his back, me tucked into his right armpit with my right leg over his stomach.

All of a sudden I reach down and grab his cock over his banana hammock. Rob laughs and says that I didn't ask first so I will be punished. I note my immediate disappointment at the fact that I am able to take his flacid cock and balls in the palm of one hand. I clearly remember thinking that he couldn't compare to my husband. He looks down into my eyes an says "Just wait..."

I start to feel him grow...hard and long. He smiles at me and we move our mouths closer to kiss each other and I am so turned on that I'm sure I will come soon and he won't even have to touch me.

We move to kiss...our noses bump and then I wake up.


"What do you mean?? We didn't get to do it??!!"

Enter Mrs.P.

When you are being "driven " in a dream, it is symbolic of you not being in control of something. Since the dream centers around your Rob obsession, then we can assume that you are being led "blindfolded" through all of this, and you have no control over it. You can't help it. Period.

The fact that the house and everything in it is white symbolizes purity, and a new awakening. So, this tells me, that the dream is about to tell me something NEW in your subconscious...something you are just discovering.

Fast forward to the three condoms. 3 is a symbol of a trilogy...past present and future. Here the condoms tell you something that happened in the past (they had sex), the present fact that they are in a relationship, and it foretells the future fact that will probably have sex again.

You then discover that she is being hurt by him.

You go up the stairs. This is a huge symbol of you getting ready to discover the "grand finale" of your dream, or the big lesson to be learned from your subconscious. What do you do? You feel bad for sympathize with feel guilty about being mean.

You soon forget (which is what you will probably do once they do break up) and go back to ravishing Rob's body.

In a nutshell----you realize you don't like her, but you are not mean enough to wish REAL harm on her. If it were to happen, you would feel bad because you are human after all...but then you will soon forget.

Hmmmmmm. Yes. But I can't seem to leave well enough alone, and probe (teehee) Mrs. P about a couple more things...

I'm still curious about the whole 'everything being white...except KS was in black with heavy eye makeup' thing, and the pastel bananahammock that Rob is wearing. Unless those things are just unrelated random shit from my brain?

I did mention the white in my explanation...but the bananhammock I did not! I'll look into it...

Of  fucking course she did, and I FAIL at life.

So would KS being dressed in black make her the antithesis of purity...and possibly the ending of something? makes her stand out, and it also is symbolic of mystery, darkness, hate, and malice. SO basically she is mysterious to you, and you hate her. LMAO!

Aaaaaaaaaaannnd that is why I supah dupah puffy heart Mrs. P.
She just fucking GETS me yo.

" I'll just lean here and think about what could've been."

Stay tuned for bananahammock updates!!!

** Mrs. P returns with a word on bananahammocks...and fruit.**

Bananhammock Update: see someone in their underwear signifies that you see them for what the really are, and that the situation is a little uncomfortable.

You put him pastel underwear and it makes me think that you may think he is goofy and "colorful" and I'm a little scared you may wonder if he's "fruity"....LMAO!

Well, I would not be altogether uncomfortable to see Rob in his underwear! I do think he can be quite goofy and playful and I love that about him. I will avoid directly addressing the "fruity" aspect  because if I think about it being a real possibility it will make me cry. Alot.

Dream Big.


  1. LMAO!!!! Shit! Now I have to follow through on the bananahammock...the world is watching!

  2. Holy shit, that is one fucking hot dream. And long. I can't believe you remembered so much from it. Way to go girl.

    Now, in all honesty, I can't wait for Mr.Pantz' comment on this one, although, knowing him, he'll ignore the whole thing and just concentrate on the fact that you just complimented the hugeness of his cock to a bunch of women who he will be joining in Forks. ;)

  3. Wow that is super detailed. I usually remember lots of details from my dreams, but that is like almost too perfect. NO, I'm not saying you made it up. LMAO!

    So jealous! Ok, I'm going to bed now, crossing my fingers that I can have a long and detailed Rob dream too!

    XO J

  4. GROSS! three used condoms on the floor. KStew probably keeps all their used condoms in a cigar box.

    You have a seriously weird imagination and I mean that in the best possible way. Pastel bananahammock?

  5. @mrs.p- thank you for the corroboration on hating KStew factor for me! that is exactly what i thought the significance of her in black was.

    @jelly- you underestimate me my dear girl. i mean, you actually do know me to think that i wouldn't comment on a Rob post since I don't for the most part. however there is one extremely awesome part here: "I clearly remember thinking that he couldn't compare to my husband." i see that and it's all good. E can think and dream and get excited about anything she wants as long as i know that one thing. that the fantasy just can never compare, truly, to the real thing. it makes me all warm on the inside to know this really.

    @E- while i probably have different things that stand out to me here than the rest i am sure, i really liked the imagery and exchanges with KStew. they captued my imagination the most. that in order for you to get what you desired she had to crush another who did not truly deserve it because what you wanted did not belong to you.

    at least that's what i got out of it... :)

  6. @Mrs.P ~ Blogfucker left out some crucial commentary...I'm attempting to restore it.

  7. @Mr.Pantz, well, see, I was 100% right. Ha!

  8. LOL the whole way through all of this. E I think you've got your Rob intermingled with Fifty. I love how you just started questioning everything! "Is this okay?" "Is Kristen hurt?" "Are you sure you want me?" I'm sure only Rob's presence could have that effect on you.

    eww to the condoms. Where's Esme when you need her to say, "Clean that up, now Kristen!"

  9. Gotta know about the banana hammock, not that I've had a dream featuring said-item, I'm just morbidly curious as to what it would signify...

  10. I am with Mr. Pantz on that I was intrigued by the fact that you felt so bad for Kristen - not that it stopped you but at least you were not completely selfish or too self absorbed to notice another person was going to be hurt by the situation.

    Mrs. P is amazing with her dream analysis.

  11. I love the banana hammock.

    One part of your dream stands out to me and only because of a thread of conversation/debate I've been having with a certain someone all last week...
    The driver blindfolding you and taking you to Rob. Similar to the rape fantasy...your mind is taking control away from yourself as a way to absolve you of guilt...lmfao.
    *does happy dance and points at Mr. P..see! See!*

    E...You rock my world. I think you should have thrown the dirty condoms at Stew.


  12. Fab dream!

    I'm waiting to hear about the banana hammock too :)

  13. Lovin' IT! BTW, Mr Pantz it one cool hubby to even comment on this...kudos! Used condoms=gross. pastel banana hammock=WTF. WHY pastel? banana hammock could mean you are fascinated with seeing it without really seeing Pastel is the confusing part for me...pastel equals pale...maybe your sub conscious is saying you want to the fantasy, even though a fantasy will not compare to your RL

    MEH, I am not as good as Mrs P...carry on...

  14. Bananhammock Update: see someone in their underwear signifies that you see them for what the really are, and that the situation is a little uncomfortable.
    You put him pastel underwear and it makes me think that you may think he is goofy and "colorful" and I'm a little scared you may wonder if he's "fruity"....LMAO!

  15. This is what I got out of it, E:

    "...the condoms tell you something that happened in the past (they had sex), the present fact that they are in a relationship, and it foretells the future fact that will probably have sex again."

    "...hard and long"

    Works for me!!



  16. @JellyBabes @Jen ~ This was not a normal dream for me! I rarely remember such detail, and dialogue which is why I'm thinking me being ill probably had something to do with how vivid it was!

    @Mr.Pantz ~ You didn't notice that your name came up on the caller ID when a call to Rob came in???

    @TT ~ I see what you mean about Fifty...except Rob in my dream was very sweet and gentle. Plus the dream speaks about my RL personality. I talk a good game, but I'm really very insecure and filled with self doubt. Meh.

    @Stone ~ Rape fantasy...yes. I didn't ponder that delicious aspect. Now I wanna get food poisoning again to try to recreate the dream. And next time Stew is getting a faceful of crusty jizz. I heart you.

    @TLR ~ Ooooooohhh. Mrs.P might have some competition!!! LMAO!

    @Kelly ~ The feeling is mutual! xo

    @Lisa ~ Hard and long works for me too! ;)

    @Mrs.P ~ You are amazing as always! Sincere thanks for taking time out of your busy piratehookering day to oblige me. Love you to pieces!!! xoxo

  17. I gotta have my daily dose of you, E!!! I guess that makes me a junkie and you my drug.

    You make me laugh! I can't wait to meet you and Mr. Pantz in FFFFFOOOORRRRKKKKSSSS!!!!!

    Shameless plug here: I started my own blog:

    Come by and follow me! Mwah! xoxoxo

  18. @SLV ~ Prepare to be mercilessly facehumped!!!

  19. SmartEpantz.... I am finally finally after way too long catching up on your blog - and I LURVE IT. I have to make this quick because my comp is gonna die and I have to get up early for my momma tomorrow, but here goes:

    a) your dream = so awesome except for how your brain totes cockblocked you!!!

    b)I am supah excited about your twitattoo idea! Have you come closer to deciding? I got mine five years ago (not a twi tattoo) and I would love to show you in FOOOOOOORKKKKKKKKKSSSSSSSSSSSS!



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